Swallowing my pride…
About a month ago I was on the phone to a relatively new friend, who I’d come to know through a mutual friend. Near the end of the conversation I let a tiny comment slip about something that I couldn’t tell them any more about. I wasn’t giving my full attention to the conversation, and so I slipped up. I couldn’t do anything about it, as I had said it, and couldn’t take it back, but couldn’t say anything more. Basically I screwed up. The conversation sorta stalled, and the other person made a swift departure. I felt like a tool, on one side for letting something slip, but on the other side I was glad I stayed in integrity and didn’t say anything more.
I saw this person about a week later, and her attitude and behaviour towards me had changed quite a bit. It was almost to the point where she were avoiding me, which was understandable given what had happened. I felt bad about it, because it was my fault, and it wasn’t what either of us wanted.
A couple of weeks later, I saw her again. It wasn’t as awkward energetically, but it was still sitting there. I decided that I had to do something about this because I didn’t like the way this had affected our friendship. I value her as a friend, and want to repair the damage that had been done.
So I had to swallow my pride. I called her, and I told her I was sorry and that I knew I screwed up. I told her that I knew I had lost her trust, and that I understood why that had happened. I also told her that I wanted to regain her trust, and that I know that it will take time. She responded really well. We talked a little bit about what had happened and opened up communication. The only thing I wish I’d done differently is that I wished I’d done it one week after the incident, instead of four.
I realised (again) how important it is to own your mistakes. How important it is to say sorry, and mean it. How important it is to sit in the other person’s shoes, and try and experience the situation from their side. How important it is to communicate with truth, from the heart.
I’m looking forward to seeing this friendship grow.
